Summer Doesn't Come Quickly

I need some sunshine in my life desperately. I can feel it building up, the weight of winter bearing down on me. Tuesday I got to experience sunshine for more than 10 minutes! The last time that happened on a week day was probably... three weeks ago? Don't get me wrong, it was glorious, and I was VERY happy to be shoveling snow surrounded by natural light when I should have been at work. I just need more light than this. I am craving bright colors like other people crave their favorite food. Basically, I am not made for winter.

"Oh, the ennui. How will we survive?"          -Proverb

I could go on with the complaints: I don't want to eat, I can't seem to drink enough water, I'm tired and cold all the time, I can't seem to get excited about anything, don't get me started on my hair... but that stuff isn't helpful. I don't need to convince you that winter is dreadful and I can't wait for spring.

A smart woman making a metaphor once said that "summer doesn't come quickly," and the literal truth of that stood out to me. Spring will come. It always does. The days will get longer and green growing things will poke out of the ground and then flowers will come and everything I'm dreaming of will be a reality. But this is going to take some time for that to happen, and I can't just hibernate until it does.

So how do you make winter bearable? What can you do to remind yourself that life is worth living during all four seasons, even if this one is dark and cold? Here are a few things I am using to get through the winter:

1. Music. Listening to it, singing it... both are so helpful. Listening to the right music gives me energy or improves my mood. Other times, I just cocoon happily in my dark car on the way to/from work, but at least it keeps me awake. I love getting together with friends on a dark winter night, having a nice glass of wine, and improv-ing our way through whatever Broadway musicals/Celtic music/ worship songs/bad pop we have on hand.

2. Friends. Related to my first point, friends make life better. Go on an adventure with them, plan an adventure, at least hang out around them. Some people like to be around lots of people, others like just a buddy or two, and some (like me) are happiest in small groups. I confess that when I am low on energy, I don't want to make plans and spend time with people... but if I go too long without being with people, it really drains my energy. This self-perpetuating cycle is the worst and so I try to force myself out of it (with mixed success depending on the day).

3. Bright Colors. I get as much of these as possible from artwork, photographs, screensavers, desktop images, and even from clothes. If I have to endure coat-wearing temperatures, that coat will be red. My scarves will be vibrant. My cardigan will be fuchsia (as long as you can't see it and the red coat at the same time). Right now, I am feeling a strong desire for more floral print in my life, at least until actual flowers come back. Oh, and never underestimate the power of strawberries in the dead of winter. If I can find ripe ones, I love to bring strawberries as a snack when people get together.

4. Winter dresses. They have long sleeves, they are winter colors, they look great with leggings and boots. Now is the time to rock them, and somehow this brings me joy despite the fact that they are not really warm (compared to actual winter clothes). The long sleeves are mostly just for show, but they do prove that some pretty things exist uniquely in the winter. I would tentatively add boots, scarves, and sweaters to this point as well, except that I personally get enough wear out of these in the fall that by winter it isn't exciting anymore. Dresses though... they still get me out of my warm bed on Sunday mornings.

5. Cat Snuggles. I can't say that these make me want to get up and go (quite the opposite, actually), but they certainly make me happier. And since Elizabeth doesn't like the cold either, she uses me for body heat in the winter and I am perfectly fine with that.

I promise I was about to get up off the couch until
Lizzy decided to foil my plans.

6. Winter sports AKA books and crafts ;) I used to LOVE skiing, but my knee and my budget don't allow for it anymore. I currently get much more enjoyment out of reading, knitting, quilting, and all those crafts that are the most fun in your warm cozy house, preferably near a fireplace. At the moment, I am giving Sense & Sensibility another shot, reading a psychology textbook about attachment, re-reading Disciplines of Grace (I swear I'm going to finish it this time) and finishing a scrapbook that should have been completed years ago. Besides, of course, knitting ALL the things, as is appropriate.

7. Hypervigilance about daylight. Starting on Dec 21st, the days are getting longer. Only by minuscule amounts, but if you are motivated enough to pay attention, it is noticeable. Since I am (unfortunately, since it's not really adaptive) already hypervigilant about the days getting shorter in the fall, the least my non-superpower can do for me is pay attention through the rest of the winter as sunrise comes earlier and sunset comes later. Look, there is hope! Spring is coming.

I'm sure this is incomplete, but it's long enough. What did I miss here? What gets you through the winter? I'm quite interested in your thoughts, especially if they will make survival till spring a little more pleasant.

Sweetums doesn't care at all, but if he did, his suggestion would be to grow
more fur for the winter. He's got 99 problems but the cold ain't one.

Occasionally, I Get Excited About My Career Choice

Often, my job seems pretty far away from what I want to be doing some day. And that's fine, because it is just close enough to get me where I need to be in the next few years. But without daily reminders about how totally awesome psychology is (clinical psychology, actually, since of course if I look anywhere there are daily reminders about how awesome general psychology is) I can lose sight of where I eventually want to be and why I want to be there.

Luckily, there are professional conferences to cure that! I was able, through my work with a professor at Gettysburg, to travel to the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies convention in Philly in November to present a poster on our research of Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, I don't want to do Borderline research permanently, and none of the rock stars on my dream list of research mentors were going to be attending, so it wasn't the most important professional opportunity ever. It was, however, incredibly fun to get to attend so many fascinating symposiums just because I wanted to. I think I bombarded everyone who came in contact with me for the following week with information about suicide safety planning in veterans, gender differences in emotional disorders, seasonal affect disorder, etc... so I won't do that again here. 

Why has no one suggested cat therapy
for SAD? Cuddling cats seems like a
logical treatment to me.

I do want to share my favorite moment from the conference. It was a perfect blend of nerding out about science and being inspired by what clinical psychology has the potential to be:

A man at the SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) symposium on Sunday morning at 8:45am identified himself as a clinician, and at the end of the research presentations, he asked why visor treatment isn't considered the gold standard for SAD treatment, given his experience that his patients are much more willing to use the visor treatment rather than light-box treatment. So Michael Young, the developer of the dual vulnerability model of SAD (he was there!) responded from the audience (because he wasn't presenting that day) that it's because the visor treatment hasn't been shown to be effective in clinical studies. The clinician immediately responded with clarifying questions about whether that has to do with adherence (apparently a problem with light box therapy is that people stop using it) or if, given participants who are adhering to either type of treatment, the visor treatment is ineffective. Dr Young replied that although theoretically the visor treatment should work great, studies aren't finding efficacy. They continued discussing distance measurements, why this treatment should work, the data that isn't backing it up, and the clinician looked thoughtful.

Meanwhile, inside, I was shouting for joy at the idea of a clinician getting up early on a Sunday morning to listen to research presentations and ask good questions related to what is best for the patients he is treating. It was so exciting seeing a clinician engaging with a researcher and really going out of his way to understand the current research that is relevant for his clinical practice. If only every practicing psychologist were so invested in evidence-based treatments and best approach to care for their clients!

Sometimes it's nice to remember that I get really excited about clinical psychology and research. The field has so much potential to positively impact people (and to keep my attention for decades... there's too much left to learn to ever get bored). So after another day of seeing the sun for less than five minutes and driving for more than three hours, I can curl up happily with a textbook on attachment that I got for Christmas and try to figure out who I should convince to admit me to their program :)

  

In case you were wondering, this gentleman is Sweetums (what other name could he possibly have?), he was my friend Katy's housemate for a period of time, and yes, I have more pictures of him so brace yourselves because it is going to be awesome. Also, he does have eyes but just so much fur... I promise you can see them in the future.